Psychological Problems Now Seem Insane

Well, I started the week off talking about the intro to Made to Crave and also about a book I am reading on my Kindle right now that is called "Swallow" and Oh Em Gee… I am even more convinced that you have to read it! For one thing, I never thought that the content would coincide so nicely with the beginning of MTC like it has. I won't give away any huge secrets but like I said last time this young woman has a psychological ball in her throat that interferes with her eating and breathing at an alarming rate of intensity. The author does such a great job of describing it that I have a hard time eating breakfast when I get home from the gym, which is unusual because I am usually starving when I get home (ok, I can always eat- let's just be honest. It's the Italian in me…) I can't tell you exactly what happens because it is a huge direction changer in the story but let's just say- I said, "NO way! You have got to be kidding!!" when it happened; right out loud in front of all the other elliptical users. It really was a surprise and genius that the author placed it in just the right spot- and here is one of the reasons why.

I have gotten some flack about writing about my eating disorder and my own struggles with food and self-image. I am almost 50 and there are WAY more important things in the world than food-slash- weight issues- I know this. I also know that I am not morbidly obese (never said I was) and that I have a very sweet husband and a loving family that loves me exactly as I am; to a fault usually. The actual food part of my eating disorder was mostly over with by the time I was 30; that's not saying I wasn't purging anymore-but it had clearly peaked and then trickled by then. I am one of the lucky ones. I was hospitalized once for depression and was also in counseling for several years to deal with some stuff in my past but even at that I have had a very blessed life. God has been SO good to me and there aren't many things I would change if I could. I say ALL that because I want you to know that I DO get what is important in life and what I see in the mirror is not the focus of my every waking moment. There was a time when it was though, and I remember what that was like. It was a constant conversation inside my head- much like the heroin in the story Swallow. She soon finds out that her "problem" is much deeper than the ball in her throat and she deals with many issues that people with eating disorders have. Even though the symptoms she presents aren't typical of an eating disorder they certainly are symptoms that are in direct correlation to food and eating. After the direction changing "event" that happens about 80% of the way through the book, the heroin Sophie gets an email from her psychiatrist that he isn't going to be in his office but she can email him if a "crisis develops." In response, she makes this statement that in light of current happenings "Psychological problems now seem insane". That is it in a nutshell and what a powerful statement.

When I was homeschooling and doing lesson plans and trying to teach my kids long division- what I grabbed to eat didn't take much thought, it also didn't carry much guilt. I was too busy to think about it.

When my son overdosed a few years later, what I weighed didn't matter as I looked at all the machines he was hooked up to and prayed. I know what it's like to feel like nothing else matters in a moment but the miracle you need.

The day my grandbabies are born I don't count the calories in the cafeteria food. When I go on vacation, I don't plan my meals out in my head like I do most other days. I know how to relax and have fun. The days I have my little girls here; I eat hot dogs and chicken nuggets and bake cookies. I am really able to stay balanced most of the time. My husband and I's favorite date night is a Redbox movie and our favorite thin crust Hawaiian Pizza!! I drink wine and love thick, dark beer. I DO know there is more to life than calories, scales and pants sizes- I DO get it…. But…

The 2011 October issue of Time magazine reported that in 1950 22% of our personal spending was on food (meaning groceries only), 10% on clothing, 13% on housing, 3% on healthcare and 3% on financial services and insurance. In 2010, that had changed to 7% on food, 3% on clothing, 18% on housing, a whopping 16% on healthcare and 8% on financial services and insurance. I find the fact that our grocery bills have gone down and our healthcare bills have gone up- hard to ignore. What it didn't account for were meals eaten out in either fast food establishments or in restaurants; but it doesn't take a professional economist to know that we eat out more now than people did in 1950. I know that the rise of two income families makes it hard for home-cooked meals to be prepared in a lot of houses, but what we have to realize is that there will be a price to pay for all of that in our health. There is no way that most (I said "most" don't blow a gasket…) restaurants can cook as healthy as we can at home and stay affordable. We have got to start taking more time to plan and cook meals if we are going to reverse the effects of what our crazy busy life styles have done to us. Not to mention the fact that our kids are growing up around restaurant booths instead of family dinner tables. I used to LOVE sitting down with my kids and I saw them all day every day for the 7 years we home schooled and I can tell you the secret to a happy 30 year marriage, or at least one of them: I FEED him. Brian will tell you today that he looks forward to coming home each and every day, and having dinner either waiting or relatively soon after he gets there; is part of that. I have a saying that I used to tell my own daughter and I have told young wives too "Feed them and they will come home!" It sounds so basic to us as woman, but it will do wonders in your home. It doesn't have to be home cooked cuisine every night but on the flip side; not many of us have an excuse for eating out every SINGLE night either. Start small by cooking twice a week. It will make a difference in your family. If you don't know where to start; there are so many cook books about cooking quick meals with few ingredients. Need your husband to help you? Try the cook book "A Man, A Can and A Plan" it is a really fun but realistic approach to a man in the kitchen.

Valentine's Day is coming up… how about planning ahead and cooking a special dinner?? I am making Chicken Sausage Rigatoni with Spicy Vodka Sauce, Caesar salad and home-made vanilla ice cream with hot fudge J… and Yes, I am lighting candles. Do I deserve to go out?? Probably. But Brian deserves to be somebody's Valentine too…. Just a thought.

Anyway, there really are more important things in the world than weight. People are starving. The unborn are in a constant battle to survive the womb. There are bombs, wars and ridiculous health care plans to worry about; but we have to take care of ourselves too. I've said it before and I will say it again- I am trying to keep my husband around for a really long time, which means I plan, shop and cook most of his meals paying attention to fiber, fat, salt and calories. There is nothing psychological about that but in today's world….it may be psycho not to.